Congrats On Your New Home, I Hope Your Neighbors Aren't Serial Killers

Congrats On Your New Home, I Hope Your Neighbors Aren't Serial Killers

Nothing says “welcome home” like a candle that smells amazing and reminds you to double-check your locks. This candle is the perfect mix of humor, paranoia, and a scent so good, it could almost make you forget about the weird noises coming from the house next door. Almost.

With notes of sea salt, jasmine, lily of the valley, green leaves, wood, and tonka bean, this candle brings a fresh, calming vibe to your space—while subtly saying, “Good luck, and keep an eye out.” It’s perfect for settling into your new digs while secretly praying your neighbors aren’t the type to bury bodies in their backyard.

Light it up as you unpack your boxes and let the comforting glow remind you: the only thing this candle is killing is bad vibes. Unless, of course, it’s a suspiciously quiet night and your neighbor starts acting weird. Then, well… good luck.

Whether you’re gifting this to a friend with a new home or buying it for yourself because your new place came with a creepy basement, this candle is here to bring humor, warmth, and just a little bit of suspense. Welcome to the neighborhood!

Scent Notes:

Sea Salt, Jasmine, Lily of the Valley, Green Leaves, Wood, Tonka Bean—fresh, clean, and just a touch mysterious.

Why This Candle is a Must-Have:

• Kills Bad Vibes: Over 80 hours of fresh, calming scents to make your new space feel like home (and not a crime scene).
• Clean Ingredients: Made with coconut-apricot wax and organic cotton wicks, because you deserve a candle that’s not toxic—even if your neighbors might be.
• The Perfect Gift: For anyone moving into a new place, especially if they have a good sense of humor (or a creepy HOA).
• Made in the USA: High-quality and locally crafted, because we like to keep it real and close to home.

Lighting Up for a Better Planet

This candle doesn’t just make your space smell incredible—it’s helping save the planet, too:

• Planting trees in rainforests, evergreen forests, and other ecosystems, because the Earth deserves some love too.
• Seasonal campaigns like cultivating 10 pounds of kelp or removing 10 pounds of plastic from the ocean, because even the planet’s got some baggage to clean up.
• Backing cutting-edge carbon removal projects through Stripe Climate.
• Tracking all this impact on the EcoDrive Dashboard.

The Details:

Scent: Sea Salt, Jasmine, Lily of the Valley, Green Leaves, Wood, Tonka Bean
Size: 9 oz Glass Jar with Lid
Wax: Coconut and Apricot Wax Blend
Burn Time: 80+ hours

Light this candle, enjoy your new home, and maybe keep a bat near the door—just in case. Welcome home, and remember: it’s probably just the wind… or is it? Muahaha!