I Would Totally Hangout With You, Even If We Weren't Getting Paid

I Would Totally Hangout With You, Even If We Weren’t Getting Paid

Let’s cut the bullshit: most people suck. You tolerate them because you’re a decent human—or you’re getting paid. But then there’s that rare motherfucker who makes you think, “Holy shit, I actually like this person.” That’s what this candle is for. It’s a big, flaming middle finger to all the fake smiles and forced small talk with the people who make your eye twitch. Instead, it’s a celebration of the badass friend you’d hang with for free—because they’re worth it.

This isn’t just any candle. It’s a tropical, fuck-the-world escape, blending citrus, orange, mint, and agave to remind you that life doesn’t have to suck when you’re with the right people. Light it up, grab some drinks, and talk all the shit you want—it’s safe here. This candle gets it.

Oh, and if you’re gifting this to someone, congrats—you’re officially the best fucking friend they have. Let’s be honest: they’ll love this way more than whatever basic-ass Starbucks gift card someone else got them.

Scent Notes:

Citrus, Orange, Mint, Agave—a fresh, tropical punch to the face, minus the hangover.

Why This Candle Is Fucking Amazing:

• Burn Time: 80+ hours of tropical paradise to distract you from the dumpster fire that is everyday life.
• Clean Ingredients: Made with coconut-apricot wax and organic cotton wicks, because toxic shit belongs in your enemies, not your candles.
• The Ultimate Gift: For your bestie, your ride-or-die, or that one person you’d actually call after happy hour. (You know, the good kind of drunk texts.)
• Made in the USA: Because nothing says “fuck yeah” like supporting local businesses and keeping it classy while the rest of the world burns.

Saving the Planet, One Candle at a Time

Yeah, this candle smells amazing, but it’s also doing real shit for the world:

• Planting trees in rainforests, evergreen forests, and other badass ecosystems. (Because we like our air clean, thank you.)
• Seasonal campaigns like cultivating 10 pounds of kelp or removing 10 pounds of plastic from the ocean, because someone’s gotta do the dirty work.
• Funding innovative carbon removal projects through Stripe Climate.
• Tracking all the good shit we’re doing via the EcoDrive Dashboard, so you can brag about saving the planet.

The Specs:

Scent: Citrus, Orange, Mint, Agave
Size: 9 oz Glass Jar with Lid
Wax: Coconut and Apricot Wax Blend
Burn Time: 80+ hours

So light this candle, grab your favorite person, and toast to the fact that not everyone is a fucking disappointment. You’ve got each other—and that’s worth way more than any paycheck. Cheers to that, bitches.